In Search of Sisterhood

    Women have often been the biggest contributors and the biggest detractors of other women since the birth of this planet.  I don't know of any woman that hasn't experienced this on a personal level.  As a woman, I have the unique experience of being profoundly sad and joyfully happy as I look at the relationships between the women around me, and the interpersonal relationships I live in.  Some of the most supportive relationships I have are with women.  Some of the most difficult relationships I have are with women. Researchers have studied interpersonal relationships between women at least since the Bible.  The story of Ruth and Boaz is perhaps the first chronicling of a friendship between women.

    For my part, I haven't done enough.  I have enjoyed many positive relationships on a personal and professional level and i have grown immensely.  I have a mentor but I am profoundly falling short in the mentoring department.  I am working on being my best me and that is definitely on the list.  So all that being said, what's the why? I think the reality is that each woman interacts with the world based on how she interprets it and how she has lived in and through it in the past.

    One of the most profound and problematic things for me is workplace behavior.  Women are allowed to interact with each other in a way that would immediately be considered inappropriate if it were a male to male or a male to female interaction. I have never had a male boss tell me that "it's not his fault that I have kids" or remind me that I have a uterus. These interactions are generally looked upon by male bosses as "girls being girls."  Most workplace complaints regarding harrassment are made by women against other women.  Women often feel that sharing gender is somehow a buffer against inappropriateness.  Women are often tougher on other women.

    In order to move to sisterhood I think that there are several things that need to happen.  I will outline them, not in any particular order and not as an authority on the subject. Before I go on I need to give a shoutout to EC for putting me through so much that I had no choice but to search of an inner power or be a felon.  Big up, wha gwan?  Just consider this a wishlist.

1.  Women need to delete the word "bitch" from the portion of their vocbulary they use to describe other women.  The "B" serves no purpose other than to be inflammatory or derogatory.  I have been called that one more than one occasion and trust me, it hurt a lot more coming from a woman.  If you like it, your entitled but it's not for me.

2.  Sisters need to declare a moratorium on dating men that are in relationships with other women.  Aside from the obvious, what does it say to men that we can't respect each other enough to say no and mean it?  Why would you want to start a relationship with a foundation of mistrust and secrets?  The negative karma associated with this is epic.  For the flip side, I have told women about their men and believe me the messenger always takes the bullet.  I will take the hit each time because I did my part.


3.   Women should pledge to find a mentor and mentor someone else.  We need to reach outside of our immediate circle and consider taking some guidance and guiding someone that we normally wouldn't come in contact with.


4.  Be supportive of other women professionally regardless of your feelings for them personally.  Jim and Bob may hate each other but they will each put aside their feelings to further a project or reach a goal. 


5.  Grow professionally, personally, spritually, intellectually and morally.  Be better than the person casting stones or spewing ugliness.  Operate in a manner that leaves you in a position of peace and without regret.

    Well, there you have it.  This is my reminder to myself and a potential roadmap  for anyone that is interested in joining me on the journey.  Please come along, I could use the company.