As a single mom one of the hardest things I had to do was raise a son. Times two. As a woman, I think about men and their role in some of my struggles. Shortly after that, I remind myself that I made choices and if they were the best choices given the information I had, then I did my best. I digress. Being a single mom was tough and raising male children was even tougher. Keep your fingers crossed because I am still in the struggle.
Everyday I hear or see a man say something that forces me to say " 'Where is or does he have a momma?' " My next thought is the hope that no one will say that about either of my boys. The reality is that very often--right or wrong--moms bear the brunt of the blame when kids go bad. They also get the look, when that grown ass man acts like he is 16. Now, make no mistake there are clear instances of right and wrong. If your 40 year-old lives in your basement and you do his laundry or help with the car note then you're wrong. I guess it's a generalization but so be it.
I freely admit that as the mother of an adult son I sometimes think that he could make better decisions. However, on the whole I think he's doing OK. I often wonder how many moms are aghast at their child's behavior? I also wonder how many of the smooth-talking player type, the lay on your couch type, and the whip your ass type dudes became that because of, with the blessing of, or in spite of a loving parent? No one grows in a vacuum. We all become, to some extent, what we experience. We also test limits, whether age 2 or 22 and learn based on the result.
There are a lot of things to think about when it comes to parenting. When you're a woman and raising males that creates an extra layer. On top of that, add your own personal experiences with men to ice the cake and it makes for a growth process for everyone involved. I don't make any judgments about the mothers of the men I've dated but I ain't gonna lie--I got real questions for some of you. I think so...and what?
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